Valentine's Day - A Rare Opportunity To Focus On Self

Will You Be My Valentine?

It's that time of the year again. Everyone is focusing on their partners or new potential partners. Relationships are a beautiful thing, they allow us to connect with others, grow and evolve. A relationship can be something which transforms you into something completely new, like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, they help us to learn.

I think it is a beautiful thing that there is one day of the year devoted to love and partners. It helps us to never be complacent. Ideally, as with all things in life, if we could be conscious every single day of our lives then our gratitude to our partners and loved ones would be something that we express more regularly and not just on one particular day.

This can be an exercise for us going forwards, to try and imagine after Valentine's Day that every day is Valentine's Day. No, I don't mean that you should take your partner out for a meal every day or make some large romantic gesture, I am not trying to bankrupt you! I am referring to doing something small and seemingly inconsequential every day, to devote a small part of your conscious thought process there. All of these small and seemingly inconsequently gestures, over a long period of time, add up and will produce a far larger impact on the relationship than thinking about it for just that one day.

The Power of Love

Looking at all facets of society we can see that the idea of love is covered in almost every aspect; in theatre, music, business, literature, art, science. It is a topic which penetrates such a large part of society, and for a good reason, it is a truly powerful force.

Love is something which can truly change the world, when a person has this feeling of love inside them, their whole world does literally change. The taste of food, the smell of the air, the sound of music. Life becomes sweeter, the way they look at everything changes. A positivity enters their life and this becomes infectious and can be transferred to others. It has a great power. We can see some of the greatest masterpieces in the world were done because of love. It is love that fuelled the fire of inspiration.

This could either be that the individuals involved were in love with the project or because they had love in their lives that the project benefitted. This love that was burning inside of them was transmitted to it. We could look at love as the precursor to inspiration, it is something which opens the heart and although the heart is not always logical, it is very rarely wrong.

Self-Start Love

Having said all of this, I find the need to remind people that with days such as Valentine's Day there is the tendency to focus too much externally of one's self. The nature of relationships usually has us focusing on the other partner in the relationship, but we start to forget about ourselves. Slowly over time this means that our internal state of love becomes reliant on the external partner and so a certain level of dependency ends up being fostered in the relationship.

To use an analogy, we now enter into a situation where our "love engine" can only be started when someone else is there to start it. This is a dangerous road to begin on. We are unable to give to others what we do not have ourselves. If I do not have a cup of water, it will be impossible for me to give this to someone else.

So, a healthier way to develop a relationship and this feeling of love is to develop a "love engine" which we can start ourselves. If we have an engine which can be started either by ourselves or by another, then it will always be running and we do not have to rely on the other individual to be there. If we rely on them, eventually we may end up compromising on some of our most basic aspects in order to keep the other around.

I strongly suggest to all that on Valentine's Day aswell as focusing some time on your partner, or finding a partner, take some time to focus on yourself. Use this time to fall in love with yourself again. If you love yourself when you meet someone else you will be able to really love them, as opposed to loving them because you can't start your own "love engine" by yourself.

I hope you all have the opportunity to slowly develop your own self-start "love engine".

#love #philosophy #AncientWisdomTalks

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